A Rose by Any Other Name
by Tribal Matriach
Summary: What went wrong on their first date?  JackSamWARNING RAPE
1. Chapter 1

1

She slipped out of the car and took a deep breath as she removed the bags from the back seat. They were really going to do this… after all these years Brigadier General Jack O'Neill and Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter were going on a date!

She had journeyed back to her house in the springs as she needed to do some tweeking to a programme up at the SGC, he had been there to see how Hank Landry was settling in, they bumped into each other on the way to the bottom level elevators and by the time they got into the one to take them to the surface he had asked her out for dinner!

She immediately rushed to the boutique she loved to look in, the one she had only been inside once before, and picked up the small black dress that she and Cassie had seen two weeks before as she was packing the bare essentials to go to '51, they had gone to get a burger from their favourite place, and Cassie had pointed out the dress in the window.

"Look at that! Now if you wore THAT when Jack was around I bet you wouldn't be sleeping alone!" Sam had blushed, she knew Cassie was old enough to talk about sex… hell she was old enough to have done it herself for at least the last 2 years, but Sam couldn't see her as anything other than the 12 year old she had carried into the bunker to die.

However she HAD looked at the dress, and now he had asked her, she decided she needed that 'something extra' and had gone and got it.

She went into Victoria Secret and treated herself to some new knickers, she also bought herself some stockings and a suspender belt, not her usual wear, but if there was one thing Jack O'Neill was it was male, and she had yet to meet a man who didn't like stockings.

She spent an hour doing other shopping, and collected her mail from the postal service, after the first extended mission with SG1, back almost 9 years ago, she had used this service, the little old lady across the street had called the police in every day after the mail box filled, she made sure it didn't happen again.

She had been in '51 for 12 full days and was amazed at the mail that had accumulated. She had decided not to sell up and move everything, after all she would be in and out of the mountain regularly, updating programmes, escorting tech… and Cassie needed somewhere she could run to when the pressure of school became too much, somewhere that was not the sterile based quarters Sam was living in. She had left all her furniture, in fact she had only packed 4 boxes of books and half her clothes to take with her. She rushed in through the front door and looked at her watch… 5 hours until THE DATE… she had to do something to fill the time! She opened the letters addressed to her personally, sorted out the bills from the 'you have been pre approved for a $10,000 loan' rubbish, then she stared on the REAL junk mail.

One caught her attention, it was a free sample of perfume, could she try it and respond to the survey? She carefully opened the tiny vial, it had maybe 2ml in. A clean and sweet smell arose out of the small container, this wasn't the usual Eau de Toilette, this was REAL perfume, and she liked it, it was not overpowering, not flowery, and not even too sweet, it was… perfect.

She decided to try it on the date, after all women don't just wear perfume for themselves, she smiled slightly, thinking of the smell that surrounded the General, she could tell he was in a room by it, and where he was in the room, she could tell when he was walking up behind her. She closed her eyes, day dreaming for a while. She looked at her watch… 4.5 hours!

She had a snack, talked an hour on the phone with Cassie, then Daniel called, she thought he was due to ship out that morning so hadn't contacted him, but there was yet another delay, she could see the disgust on his face even over the voice line, he so wanted to get to Atlantis!

She took a shower, shaving everything she thought could possibly need shaving, and slowly got herself ready, trying to drag it out so nerves wouldn't have too long to make her a wreck before he turned up.

She slipped on the expensive black material, it was strapless, and only reached about 4 inches below her backside, if she bent over slightly he would be able to see the stocking tops, it was almost totally see through at the back, showing the fact that she did not have a bra on, only a scoop of darker lining saving her from exposing herself, the lining travelled all the way around the front, with a small circle over her navel see through as the back was. The lace was delicate and the pattern subtle… yes she was glad Cassie had pointed it out to her!

She slipped on her bath robe and did her hair, it was still too short to do a lot with, but she managed to get some light curls into it, she applied her makeup, and the perfume, slipped on the heels that should make her and the General the same height, and she was ready… 40 minutes until THE DATE!

She was debating putting on nail varnish, something she wouldn't usually wear, when she heard a vehicle pull up, she knew he didn't have the large truck any more, he had sold it when he went to DC, he was 30 minutes early! She got to the door as he reached out to ring the bell, she pulled it open and the look on his face was worth every penny she had spent!

He went red, then white, then red again, his eyes travelled up and down her body from floor to the top of her head and back again. She stood back slightly to allow him to enter, he walked in, never taking his eyes off her.

He too was dressed all in black, her favourite colour for him to wear, he had a black dress shirt over lose black trousers, black silk tie, and highly polished black dress shoes. His grey hair was almost tidy, just that bit at the back of his head that stood up perpetually, tempting her fingers to smooth it down for him, his eyes were as dark as she had ever seen them!

"You look beautiful" he managed to say at last "not that you don't always, but this…" she saw him shake his head slightly, and she thought she saw a slightly puzzled look for a split second.

"Would you like a drink before we leave?" she asked him

"Huh? Erm no thanks, I think we better set off" he shook his head again, she saw his eyes slightly unfocused and then normal again.

"Is everything alright Jack?" she asked and put a hand on his arm, he jumped slightly at the contact, she snatched her hand back

"I… I, something…" he looked puzzled again and was shaking his head as if trying to clear it, she moved to stand as close as possible, but not touching

"Jack?" she was getting worried now, he scrubbed his face with one hand, and he was swaying slightly as if drunk, but she knew he wouldn't risk driving if he was drinking, the look in his eyes now was getting slightly wilder, she took half a step back… and that's when he attacked!


	2. Chapter 2

2

She struggled, and fought, using every trick she knew that would not cause him permanent harm, but he was too strong, he had taught her most of the moves she was using, and he knew exactly how to counter them. She screamed his name, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was not in control of his actions.

She had seen this man in almost every conceivable situation over the last 9 years, and she knew his service record of the times before then, she had hacked into them back when he was such a bastard during the first mission, she had NEVER seen him as he was now!

He picked her up and bodily carried her into her bedroom, she kept struggling and caused them to bounce off the walls a few times along the way, but he eventually got her into the room, he shut the door behind them and he threw her down on the bed. He followed her, and landed right on top of her, using his full weight to hold her in place, he wrapped his legs around hers so she couldn't use them, and he held both her hands in just one of his, he ripped the tie off his neck with his free hand and tied both of hers together, she kept trying to headbutt him, but everything she tried he avoided. He threaded the spare material through the bars of the headboard and drew his hands harshly down from her now immobile hands, down her arms until he got to the top of the dress, he increased the pressure and slipped the material off her bust exposing her to the air and his eyes.

Oh God! Until he did that she harboured faint hopes that it was a mistake, a joke even maybe, though not in the slightest bit funny, but as she became exposed she saw his pupils widen even more, he grabbed her roughly and leant down and bit her! She tried to tear her hands free, but the bonds were getting tighter as she moved, she screamed in pain as he assaulted her with his teeth.

Now Samantha Carter had been bitten during sex before, hell, sometimes she had done the biting! But this was nothing like the other times, he was savage, he intended to draw blood, and when he did he licked it off, moaning as if he was getting off on it. She kept pleading with him, but she could tell he couldn't hear her, his hands were working at the dress, but it was tight and for some reason he seemed to forget that maybe there was a zip, he gave up and feasted on her breasts for a while, his rough handling and the bite marks making it so that she was not getting even slightly aroused by the actions.

Suddenly he sat back on his legs, which were still wrapped around hers, he reached for the hem of the dress and pushed it upwards, she ended up with a roll of material around her waist and he grabbed the new knickers she had bought and pulled them until they tore off her, he grabbed his own clothing, and managed to free himself sufficiently, he grabbed one of her legs and pulled it to the side, lifting himself free as he did so, he settled one leg between hers, then he freed her other, she had no way of closing them, and no way of causing him harm, she knew now, no matter who she was, no matter that she was a Colonel in the air force, she was still vulnerable to any man with the will and strength to take her.

She started crying, she couldn't help it, of all the feelings she could feel, helplessness was the worst, she thought. Her tears had no effect upon him except for the fact that he licked them from her face, he never attempted to kiss her, he was just taking what he needed, whatever that was.

He roughly penetrated her with his hand, finding her dry, he worked for a minute or so and when she didn't get much wetter he must have decided not to bother any more, he licked his land, and smoothed his saliva over his cock and then he pushed into her with it, grunting like a wild animal.

Sam started to withdraw slightly from what was happening, allowing him to do whatever he wanted with her body, without resistance, she analysed the situation, she knew the Jack O'Neill she knew would never do anything like this, he had not spoken a single word since the attack started, he was acting almost as if he had that virus from the land of light, bestial and violent, she tried to ignore the pain he was causing by driving into her unwilling flesh, the pull and burn of dry intercourse. Maybe someone else had got hold of the mimic device? Maybe this wasn't Jack O'Neill after all? She knew it was though, they could copy his voice, and his looks, but they could not copy the unique smell of him, no much as she wanted it to be true, she knew that this WAS Jack, just not… JACK!

She tried to pretend that they were making love, or even indulging in a quick fuck, but she couldn't, this was rape, nothing she could think of would convince her body of anything else, she couldn't lubricate herself to make it easier on them both, the drier she was the longer it would take him to come, which meant she had to suffer more.

"Jack, there's a bottle of lube in my draw" she said in a soft calm voice, hoping to communicate with whatever was controlling him. He never acknowledged that he heard her, he just kept driving into her.

He bit into her neck, this time not puncturing the skin, but hard enough that she would have a bruise the next day, then he moved down to her shoulders, and she closed her eyes as he worked his way back down to her breasts. Again he pulled at them with his hands, nipping the nipples roughly and causing pain to shoot through her, she groaned with it and that seemed to spur him on! He picked up the pace of slamming into her, moving his hands to hold her tight, to her shoulder with one and her hip with the other, every time she tried to lower her legs he pulled them back up and dug in with his fingers above the stockings, she knew she would have bruises there as well. Tears streamed down her face, she couldn't get her breath properly, she was one massive ache from the top of her legs to her neck.

He came with a wordless scream, driving with all his considerable muscles into her flesh for 3 short bursts. He collapsed on top of her, rested for a minute or so, making it even harder to breathe than before, and then he rolled over, off her and onto the floor, and he passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

3

She was cold, she hurt and the muscles stiffened as her body cooled, making the ache that much worse, she could at least move now. She shuffled painfully up the bed, and tried to free her hands.

It took her over an hour working with her teeth to free herself, she did her best to be quiet the whole time. Eventually she got one hand free and then it was short work to get completely free, even though it seemed like she was working with thick rubber gloves on. Circulation and feeling came back in a burning rush, she could have screamed, but self preservation stopped her, she dare not wake the man on the floor.

When she recovered small muscle control she unzipped the dress, and removed it, and reached over and picked up her bathrobe… she had left it on the dresser chair, when she had finished getting ready for the date. She swore to herself, trying to stop the surge of self pity that threatened to choke her.

She made her way carefully to the door, she slipped out and got to the phone, she phoned Daniel and told him she needed help, it was 22:00. Her entire life had changed in less than 150 minutes!

Daniel arrived in 30 minutes, he took one look at her shattered appearance and was about to burst out when she motioned him to silence.

"What the hell happened to you?" he hissed "I thought you were going out with Jack tonight? He was excited about it all afternoon"

She closed her eyes, how could she tell this man, her brother, that his best friend had attacked her. They both heard a groan from her bedroom, Daniel was watching her face and saw her blanch at the noise, her personal weapon was in the hall drawer as always and he opened it up and made his way down the hall, she stayed where she was, watching. He opened the door and looked back at her when he saw who it was on the floor. He made his way back to her.

"I can't hold Jack" he said "He's much too strong, even if I have a gun. Do you have anything to tie him up with?" she nodded, she had several of the plastic ties they used for prisoners, she used them to tie the rose bushes to the fence, she quickly slipped into the kitchen and came back with 4 tied in pairs making a couple of loops.

Daniel handed her the gun and motioning her to follow him he moved back towards her room, Jack was still laid out, but his groans were louder, as if he was starting to wake, Daniel worked quick, he tied his hands behind his back and his feet together, then he stood back quickly.

She watched it happen, but all she could think was 'he raped me' over and over. She wasn't fooling herself, she knew he had only to hint to her that he wanted sex that night, and she would have willingly stripped, she had waited so damn long to have this man, and then he did this! 'HE RAPED ME' Her hands started shaking as she watched the now immobile man on the floor, the face was the same one she had loved for years, but she doubted she would ever be able to look him in the eyes again. She felt she had lost something, and she was not sure what it was **'HE RAPED ME!' **

Daniel gestured to her and when she didn't move he took the gun from her hand and pushed her gently out of the door.

"What happened?" he asked, guiding her to her kitchen, he put the kettle on.

"I don't know" she told him "he arrived early for the date, he came in, he started acting… strange, but nothing worrying" she got out in a rush, somehow though she knew it was wrong, she felt that if there had been signs that he was going to do something, then it was all her fault for not noticing and stopping it earlier. "Then he attacked, he… he " she couldn't help it, she broke down in sobs.

Daniel came up to her and held her, smoothing her hair down and saying nonsense to help calm her. When the kettle boiled and she had calmed somewhat he moved away to make her a tea, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the SGC, he asked for Dr. Lam and a squad of SFs.

"I'm at Colonel Carters house" he gave the address "She's been raped" there it was that word, somehow she had known he wouldn't use a euphemism, even in front of her, but to hear someone speak it out loud made her sobs come back in force. "yes the man who did it is still here, we tied him up, I need to speak to the General, just don't tell the SFs what has happened to her Carolyn, you will understand when you get here" Evidently she put him through to Landry because his tone changed subtly.

"Yes General, Colonel Carter has been raped in her home, and I have asked Dr. Lam to come deal with it, yes sir, yes… General O'Neill" Daniel closed his eyes in pain as he said it, she knew how difficult it was for him, "Yes sir, I said General O'Neill was the man who attacked her. I know… however she says there was something odd about his behaviour just before he attacked her, no sir, I just thought I better warn you, I have ordered a squad of SFs to the house, yes sir… we will see you when we arrive."

He moved back to comfort her, with a cup of tea in his hand, he placed it on the counter and once again held her until the sobs subsided. She drank the tea, feeling slightly better for it, even though he had shoved what tasted like 10 sugars in it, she was just finishing when they heard a bellow from the bedroom

"What the FUCK am I doing tied up on the floor?!" she dropped the cup and it shattered on the floor. Daniel rushed out of the room and she carefully slipped off the stool avoiding the broken pot and splash of liquid.

Daniel made his way back down the passage, Sam stood out of sight in the kitchen doorway.

"Jack, I'm coming in" Daniel said as he opened the door again

"Daniel? Daniel! Is this some kind of joke?" he wasn't pleased, his tone was low and tight.

"What do you remember about tonight?" asked Daniel

"What the hell?" he moved, she could hear him, "Untie me!"

"Jack… Listen, what do you remember about tonight, Jack, it's important!"

"I…" he paused "I came to pick Sam up" his voice was a lot softer suddenly "she looked amazing" Sam closed her eyes and swallowed with difficulty she moved away from the door and sat back at the counter on the stool.

The doorbell went and Sam was torn between answering it, and coming in sight of Jack, or leaving it and making Daniel return. She squared her shoulders, she went to the front door and pulled it open, Carolyn Lam was on the step with a medical bag, Sam told the SFs to wait at the door and allowed the woman to enter.

"SAM!" she heard Jack shout from the bedroom, she started shaking and Carolyn put her arm around her shoulder, leading her into the living room.

"Daniel! What the fuck is happening?!" he shouted Daniel must have said something because she heard a "NO!" and then nothing else.

Carolyn Lam was a smaller woman than Sam by some margin, and Sam still had her shoes on from earlier emphasising the difference. But no matter her size it was obvious she was used to getting her way. She was calm and collected and almost too detached, Janet would have been calling her honey and sympathising with her as she did her job, Carolyn was more clinical, she asked questions, such as if she had had a shower or washed since the attack, Sam had known not to, even though she actually had no intention of pressing charges against him, there may be evidence on her body to say what had happened and why.

The doctor asked if there was a spare bedroom, the exam being easier if there was a bed available and she exited the room and told Daniel to close the door so they could transfer into Cassies bedroom without Jack seeing them. Sam allowed the exam and collection of samples, the doctor explained that she had several tears on the walls of her vagina and may need stitches, but she would wait until they had got to the SGC before doing that. She then left and went into Sams bedroom, there was a low voiced conversation and Jack and Daniel left the house.

Carolyn came back in and told her to go get dressed, but reminded her not to shower, and to take spare underwear with her, and she drove the car Jack had arrived in back to base, Sam was silent the whole way.

She was taken to the infirmary where she stripped and the doctor took pictures, even though she insisted she was not pressing charges, she catalogued the damage, and measured the teeth marks on her neck and breasts, comparing them to Jacks dental records. She then told Sam to slip into bed and gave her a light sedative to help her sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

4

He couldn't understand what the hell was happening, he woke up with his arms behind his back and his ankles tied together. Daniel was there, though he had no idea why. When he entered the bedroom he was holding a gun. Jacks eyes widened and he looked at the younger man.

Daniel wouldn't meet his eyes to start with, he asked what he remembered of the night, Jack tried to get him to untie him, but the younger man pressed and he had to answer.

He remembered coming up to Sams house and her opening the door, the sight that had appeared before him was something that was almost worth 9 years of waiting for! She was dressed in a black strapless mini dress, he could see a circle of skin around her stomach visible through the lace, and when she turned to allow him in he could see that her back, while covered, was visible through most of the dress. Lining material travelled from the front and over the swell of her behind, covering the globes of her bum and not much higher, he could see the hint of a dimple where the material ended and the lace continued.

She had on slightly more makeup than usual but he could see she had not attempted to cover her freckles up with foundation, which pleased him as he found them adorable. He caught a breath of her scent, the perfume almost masking the smell that always surrounded her, it was not unpleasant, but he would rather that she had not worn it. He loved her natural scent, especially when she had just showered and it was clean and fresh. Like most members of the military she did not use strong scents in her bathing routine, apart from the fact that they were not allowed, they dulled your sense of smell. So usually she smelt slightly of soap, but almost wholly of Sam!

He stepped into her living room and he at last found his voice and told her how beautiful she looked, the slight smell of perfume tickled his nose, he blinked and shook his head slightly to dislodge the smell, he could feel his arousal, it had started at the moment he had asked her out this afternoon, and had been working up right until she opened the door. Now it was hard enough to hurt!

He heard her asking if he wanted a drink, but it took some time for it to register past the longing he felt for her and that smell! He answered her, though he felt like his senses were clouded, he suddenly felt her hand on his arm, it felt like he had received an electric shock! He jerked at the contact, even though it wasn't skin to skin… skin to skin… he shouldn't think that way, not on the first date and definitely before they had even set off, his zipper was getting uncomfortable, even though his trousers were a size larger than he should have worn, he had spent years hiding his reaction to her, and the dress code that had started as camouflage now was comfortable. Only his dress blues fit him correctly, and he had to stop wearing them around her early on, unless it couldn't be avoided. He remembered meeting Jacob for the first time and having to leave the reception because of his inability to mask his reaction.

Why was he thinking of things like this? He had a beautiful woman here who was waiting for him and he was dreaming! She was less than an inch away, though not touching, they were eye to eye with the shoes she had on, he liked that, he could kiss her, but she had asked him something… hadn't she? She moved away and he thought that he was going to lose her again, she was going to leave him!

He remembered reaching out for her… and then nothing.

He finished telling Daniel what he remembered and was asking what had happened.

"You don't remember anything else?" He asked, Jack looked around the room, he had propped himself on his side half way through the narration, and now he noticed some things about his surroundings, The clock on her bedside table showed 23:20, what the hell? He had arrives at about 19:30 hours, and his pants were halfway down his legs! He was going to get seriously annoyed when he heard the door bell.

Daniel stood off the bed and moved to the door, Jack looked out into the passage way and he saw Sam going to the door. He shouted her just as it opened and Hanks daughter walked in, a couple of SFs were there too, Jack watched as Carolyn steered Sam into the living room, shooting a glance of pure loathing at him!

"Daniel! What the fuck is happening?!" he shouted Daniel closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped.

"Jack, Sam was raped this evening"

"NO!" he shouted, it was too painful to think about, his beautiful 2IC being raped… but where was he? Why didn't he remember? What the hell had the bastard done to him so he could not protect her?

Daniel told him to calm down and then he said that Carolyn was collecting the evidence, Jack said "good, if we catch the bastard I'll kill him myself … untie me Daniel" Daniel shook his head

"You don't understand Jack, YOU raped Sam" he heard it, he knew he did, but the words didn't mean anything to him really, because they couldn't be right, Carolyn came to the door, she ignored him completely and spoke to Daniel

"I need to get her onto a bed, the damage may be quite bad, can we close this door so she can't see him?" Jack moved as best he could away from the door, that he was now blocking, allowing her to shut it. His mind kept going over what Daniel had said, he looked around the room again, her black dress was on the bed, screwed up, he could see what may have been her knickers on the floor near Daniels feet, they were torn. He could smell the fact that he had had sex, though strangely all he could smell was himself, there was no evidence of her scent on him. Oh GOD what if it was true? What if he HAD…? NO! he would not accept it, he didn't have it in him to do this, and especially not to her!

He lay on the floor, trying to get his mind around the fact that his best friend thought he was a rapest, he did not doubt for one minute that Sam was telling the truth, however there must be something…he remembered Kinsey and the mimic device, and a slight hope built, but then there was the evidence of his own body.

Carolyn returned 20 minutes later.

"I need to get her to the SGC, she needs stitches inside as well as having several very nasty bite marks. Can you take him and make sure he is locked up before we get there? I don't want her seeing him." Jack had no objections to being spoken of like this, while he was still in the room, if he HAD raped Carter he deserved a hell of a lot more than this!

"Untie my legs Daniel, I can't get up" He said calmly, Daniel took a pen knife out of his pocket and cut the ties around his ankles, he rolled smoothly to his feet and Daniel pulled his clothing up and fastened him. He removed the keys to the loan vehicle from Jacks pockets and gave them to the doctor. Jack moved to the door and waited for them to open it, he went down the passage, his heart wanted to find Sam, to hold her and tell her everything would be OK, but he knew it was the last thing she needed him to do. Daniel opened the front door and he stepped out, the SFs looked surprised to see who it was they were arresting but they escorted them to the jeep, putting Jack in the middle and Daniel and an SF either side Daniel told them to go to the mountain.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Hank came to see him after he had been in the level 16 lockup for 2 hours, he had a folder with him, that he said was the report on the rape. They were still waiting for the DNA to come back on the sperm found inside her, but his dental records matched the bite marks and Sam herself, though refusing to press charges, had said it was him.

"You understand that even if she refuses to press charges, the AF will?" Hank asked.

Jack nodded, he knew it was really to protect the victim as well as future victims, but he agreed with it, even though he was the one being accused. It was looking more and more like he was guilty, and no mimic/robot/clone had been responsible.

"Is she… is she OK?" he asked through the bars.

Hank looked into the folder, then at Jack. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else Jack you understand…" he looked straight at him, Jack nodded, though he had no idea what he was going to do "But not only do I know you, I know you love her. I don't know what happened to you, but I'll bet it was not accidental or something you had control over." He stood up and moved the plastic chair he was sitting on close to the bars, he placed the folder on the chair and left the room.

Jack reached through and picked it up, as he opened it he saw the pictures of her breasts, the bite marks that had punctured her skin, the bruises just beginning, he could see the start of bruises on her shoulders, on her thighs, picture after picture of the damage he had caused. Then he got to the written report from Carolyn, the internal damage, the stitching she needed. He closed his eyes and did something he had not done for a long time, he wept.

Daniel had appeared by her side the second Carolyn had sedated her, and he sat by her until she woke the next morning.

She had some breakfast and then gingerly got dressed, she was just about to make her escape when the doctor appeared and told her to return to bed.

"I'll be fine" she said "I have been much worse" which was true!

"It's not your body I am concerned with Colonel, you do need time to heal, but you also need to grieve, and so far you haven't, you can't bottle this up, it isn't good for you"

Sam shook the hand that she had laid on her arm off. "Is there any medical reason why I should stay in bed?" she asked, the doctor shook her head. "Then I'll be in my lab" she walked out.

Daniel caught her before she had gone 10 yards "You don't have a lab" he reminded her, "come on, up to mine" he put a hand on her back and she jumped away from him. Oh God she was acting like a scared child! She looked at Daniels shocked face as he drew his hands back and wrapped them around himself like he used to all those years ago

"Sorry Daniel" she said, "I don't understand it, I let you close last night, but I… I just don't want to be touched by anyone right now" Daniel nodded, he gestured for her to precede him into the lift. She pressed the button for 18 and led the way to Daniels lab. The place was very tidy and she remembered with a jolt that he was supposed to be leaving soon.

She was NOT panicking! No! but the thought of Daniel leaving, while Teal'c was already gone, sent shudders down her spine, what would she do without her team?

An SF appeared at the door and handed Daniel a video tape, he sat her down and went to a machine she couldn't see from where she was and he put the tape in, he watched for a good 10 minutes, whatever it was that was on it, and then she saw him close his eyes in pain, she moved around behind him and she saw Jack on the monitor, he was in a cell, a folder on his knees and he was crying!

Daniel noticed she had moved and reached over to turn it off quickly, she stopped him.

"What does he say happened?" she asked for the first time

Daniel told her everything he remembered, stating that they would be giving a formal interview later in the day for the prosecution.

"I'm not pressing charges, I know he didn't do it of his own free will" she said, Daniel looked at her with pity.

"Sam, you should know, it isn't up to you, the AF will press charges." She knew it now he mentioned it, but that meant they had very little time, she HAD to find out what had happened to him, she had to save him! She reached her hand to the screen, where the sobbing man was still centre of it. She made a silent promise to herself, she would not see him in gaol if there was any way she could prevent it!

She read over the interview notes, and listened to the tape after it was finished. He mentioned several times a smell… she remembered the sample of perfume. She asked Daniel to go to her house and get it, but to make sure he did not open it, there wasn't a lot left, she had used most of it.

He returned and she split the sample in two, then she split half in two again. She took one quarter of the original sample and she ran through a gas chromatograph the rest of that half she ran through a mass spectrometer, she placed the other half still in the vial, in the safe in her old lab. The results did not show what she wanted exactly, she had very little left to try again, but something in them gave her an idea, a chemical was showing that while not unusual in perfume, was slightly different to any she had seen before.

She knew what she needed to do next, and she was frightened. Colonel Samantha Carter who had faced death numerous times, who had been chased to exhaustion, beaten, battered and taken as a host, was frightened of being in the same room as the man she loved!

However it had to be done, it was the only thing that fit the facts, but it needed to be tested. She asked to speak to General Landry and Carolyn Lam, they told her to meet them in the briefing room, she asked Daniel to accompany her and she outlined her plan.

Carolyn objected vigourously, the General looked worried, Daniel was one second hopeful that she would clear his best friend and the next worried to death over the impact this could have on his 'sister'. She was determined though, Jack was NOT going to go to gaol or lose his career over this, though she doubted things could be the same between them, she knew him! She knew he did not do this no matter what her memory and the evidence said!

She sent Daniel to her home again with instructions to pick up her dress, so they could test it, and she started preparing herself for what was to come.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Jack looked through the folder again after Carolyn left, she had come to get blood samples, evidently Sam had insisted that he must be under the influence of something to do what he did. He did not deserve her faith in him, he had violated any trust he had built, how could she defend HIM? He who had done THAT to her!

He once again pictured her perfect skin marred by his teeth, her legs bruised from his grip and the tears on her insides! He vomited several times into the small toilet in the corner of the room. He thought about what Carolyn had told him, though he wished to believe it, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

He remembered everything prior to arriving at her home in minute detail. He had not eaten anything after asking her for the date, he had only drunk a bottle of water that he picked up in the commissary from a shelf full, he did not bump into anyone, his clothing came straight out of his suitcase, there was no opportunity for anyone to drug him!

The only thing was, he could not remember doing it!

The DNA test had come back positive for him, he had expected that. The formal interview under caution was over with, he did not have a lot to contribute, though he told everything he remembered down to the smallest detail.

He was a rapist! More, he had just attacked the one woman who had made his life worth living for the last 9 years! He needed to see her! He had to apologise and then he would find a way to finish what he had started back the night the AF first came to him over the Stargate! She would be better off with him gone, hell the whole world would!

He sat on his bunk, occasionally looking over the folder in self flagellation, how could HE have done this to HER? He still did not understand it! And no matter how many times he looked, no matter how much he knew he HAD, he still could not even imagine himself doing those things to her!

Daniel appeared at the door, Jack didn't want to see him, the young man always tried to see the good in people, and Jack knew there was nothing good left in him, he had destroyed it. He placed a coffee and a sandwich on the chair that was still near the bars, Jack didn't make any attempt to get it, he just watched the young man. Daniel moved around the room, it was obvious he had something to say and Jack just wanted him to say it and leave. When he did speak, however, he said the last thing Jack expected to hear,

"Sam sent me" he said. Jacks head snapped up, piercing the young man with his gaze he begged for more detail, no one else would tell him what he wanted to know! "She read the interview, she says that you mentioned a smell?" Jack nodded, remembering the smell tickling his nose and irritating him.

"Yeah she had some sort of perfume on" Jack said, "What has that got to do with anything?"

"Just that she used a free sample that had arrived in the mail, she wondered if you would be willing to try something with her? And Jack, I'm warning you, she is very fragile at the moment, stay as far away from her as possible, this is not easy for her!" Jack nodded, he would try anything as long as he got to see her! "We are just setting things up, please just… just do as you are told"

Jack agreed, he waited for half an hour and then he was escorted to the interview room. Daniel was waiting inside when he arrived, he told the guard to release him from the cuffs.

"Is that wise Daniel?" Jack asked "I attacked her and don't remember doing it, maybe we should just keep the cuffs on?" Daniel shook his head

"Jack, this is what Sam asked, now please, sit down and I'll go get her." Jack looked at the table and chairs, they were side on to the door, if he lost it he could prevent her getting out, he dragged a chair back against the farthest wall, and then dragged the table laboriously so it was very close, he sat on the chair, pulling the table as close as possible, he could not get up in a hurry now, she would be safer.

Daniel watched him do it and he saw approval on his face. He moved 'Sams' chair close to the table, but far enough that if she sat on it he could not reach her at full stretch.

"Sam will be coming in soon, she asked to be alone, though we will be taping it," he pointed to the ever present camera in the corner. "Jack, I know…I don't believe…I…" Jack nodded, he knew exactly what he was trying to say. It did not matter what he believed though, the proof was undeniable, he had raped her!

"It's OK Daniel, just make sure you look after her" he said to reassure the young man. He didn't deserve their friendship, in a way he never had, he had teased the archaeologist mercilessly from the start, and though they had argued several times they had formed a strong bond, but Jack knew it would not be long now until he broke that bond, and Sam needed his help more than Jack did.

Daniel left the room, and Sam walked in, she dragged the chair over to the table despite Jacks protests and sat down. He looked at her, it may be the last time he ever saw her and he wanted her to look at him! But of course, she didn't. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a baggy jumper, hiding her shape, but she still looked beautiful. She had no make-up on, no perfume, she was just SAM and he ached for her, though not in the usual way, he wanted to hold her, comfort her, whisper words of love to her… Goddamit! He wanted to protect her, the only thing was, HE was what she needed protecting from!

She would not look at him, and when he asked gently how she was she would not answer, he saw her swallowing several times as if trying to stop herself from vomiting in his presence. He had no idea what she was trying to do, but it looked to be harder than she could manage because after a couple of minutes she left the room. He sat waiting for his escort back to the cells, not moving at all… no one came to collect him and Jack had no idea what was happening! He put his head in his hands, he should have told her he was sorry, though he doubted that would help, he should have said SOMETHING instead of sitting there watching her when she wouldn't answer that first question.

He banged his head against the wall behind him, he should have TOLD HER! She returned and sat back down again, he sat silently watching her, he wanted to say something to her, he had been going to, he was sure he was, but the sight of her dried his mouth, he could not think of what it was he wanted to say… so he watched her as she sat still on the other side of the table, she did not raise her eyes from the table top, she said nothing, and he smelt that same smell as he had when stood close to her in her home.

He tried to breathe only through his mouth as the smell irritated his nose, but it still tickled slightly, he shook his head trying to clear it. Then suddenly she rose and tried to move away, he hadn't apologised yet! She had to stay!

The next thing he knew he was face down on the bunk back in the level 16 holding cells, his hands handcuffed behind his back, a pair of SFs were on the other side of the bars and as he moved he felt his muscles go into spasm… something had happened… now he just had to find out WHAT!


	7. Chapter 7

7

Sam had never done anything as hard in her life as sit across that table from him. She tried to say something to him when he asked how she was, she could hear the pain in his voice, but her mouth was dry and she couldn't will herself to say something.

Then she had exited the room and Carolyn was waiting outside, she had the vial of perfume with her and dabbed a small amount on Sams chest between her breasts, they had discussed this and Carolyn had pointed out that it was a warm place that produced pheromones, and so if it WAS what Sam suspected, then that was the best place to try it. There was still a tiny amount left in the bottom of the vial and they planned to use it later, depending what the outcome of this experiment was.

The two SFs were stood at the ready still, as they had been since Jack was taken in, one had a Zat gun, the other a taser, they did not want to kill him, and just to be safe they only had one Zat between them.

Sam returned to the room, she was shaking in terror at the thought of what could happen, though she was pathetically grateful he had thought to move the desk and pinned himself to the wall.

She sat opposite to him, he watched her, for once in his life even his hands were still. She noticed movement, he was shaking his head, she thought, as he had done at her house, she realised she may now be in danger, he could already be ready to attack, she moved the chair back and stood and he lunged for her!

She backed away rapidly, and heard Carolyn give the order to the SFs, they came into the room as she got near to the door. Jack was a mad man, he picked the table up and threw it aside, he had struggled to drag it earlier. The SF with the taser shot him, he kept coming! He received a Zat direct into his chest and that did not stop him, he slowed but kept coming.

He knocked both men out of the way as if they were paper dolls, when one of them got back to his feet Jack put him out cold. Carolyn stepped into the room and pushed Sam out, as Jack went to push her away she put a jet injector to his neck and he slumped to the ground. It was over, she had been right, now she had to do the second part of the test and then they would have to work out who had done it to them. She took swabs of her chest where the perfume was and sent them for testing while she went and showered.

Jack came around after 4 hours, a lot quicker than he should have according to the meds Carolyn had pumped into him. They received a report from the SFs, who called to the infirmary where they all were sat. Sam told the others that she wanted to be the one to fill him in. She still needed his co-operation for the last phase of experimentation.

Daniel offered to come with her, and she allowed him to go as far as the door to the cells, but she stopped him there. General Landry and Carolyn also came along and also waited as she asked. She went in and ordered the SFs to uncuff him, one stood with his weapon drawn while the other went into the cell and freed him, then when the cell was secure again she told them to leave. In the end she had to order it, and General Landry opened the door and removed them from the room to the corridor.

They went, she got the chair and sat on it, never managing to look at him directly, she could feel he was watching her.

"What happened?" he asked

"You attacked again" she replied. "What do you remember?"

"You came into the room, you left, you came back in, you got up… then nothing…Oh God! Why didn't they shoot me?" he asked, she actually looked at him! The pain she saw in his eyes staggered her. He meant it! He REALLY thought he should be shot. "we would put a wild animal down if it attacked a human" he said

"You are not a wild animal sir" she told him, somehow things had been turned around. SHE should be the one falling apart from this, after all she was the one that was attacked, so why was it that she was coping, but he wasn't?

"I need to do one more experiment before we know the whole truth sir, would you be willing to help?"

"Carter I RAPED YOU!" he shouted and he banged his head into the wall behind him "STOP being nice to me for fucks sake!" he banged again. Sam was getting worried, she knew Daniel had told her that Jack had at one point been suicidal, but she never honestly believed it, now looking into his eyes she doubted her own judgement.

"Sir, please…" she said "we need to do this last thing" his eyes closed and he nodded his head. She rose and got the SFs.

She followed the escort to the interview room, it had been straightened again and once again Jack rearranged the furniture, this time with a lot more effort. She stood outside holding the tiny vial of perfume.

"Are you sure about this?" General Landry asked, he received a nod. Daniel spoke next

"We could get a female SF to do it you know, no one would think less of you if you didn't want to try, you saw how he was last time. The woman nodded again and opened her blouse slightly, the perfume was applied. She took a deep breath and walked into the room.

They saw Jacks head shoot up as she entered, he looked puzzled, as well he may, as she sat at the table on the chair. They sat for a full 10 minutes, Jack kept glancing at the panel in the door, waiting for something, she sat watching him, not saying anything.

Eventually she rose and headed for the door, it was at that point he had attacked before, this time he watched her go calmly. She stepped out of the door and Sam hurried to her side.

"Thanks Carolyn" she told the doctor "That proves it, the perfume was what made him attack, but only when I wore it, this was a deliberate attack on the both of us"

She moved to enter the room, but the General stopped her. "Colonel, you can't go in there without protection" he told her.

"I'm in no danger now, Jac… General O'Neill is as much a victim of this as I am, there was no way he could have resisted" she said, he looked at the doctor and she nodded her head, he stood back and allowed her to go in.


	8. Chapter 8

8

He watched as Carolyn moved out of the room. He didn't understand what was happening, but he knew for sure that whatever it was it was Sams idea, and if she wanted it, he was going to make sure he did it!

She had only been gone a minute when the door opened and Sam walked back in. He held out his hands to stop her moving.

"No closer" he croaked, his throat was dry, he could not remember when he had last had a drink, and he had vomited a lot earlier. Sam turned and poked her head out the door, she waited and soon a bottle of water was passed to her. She came over and sat at the table, offering him the drink.

"Put it down and move back" he told her, she held the bottle out to him, ignoring his instructions. He flicked his eyes to hers momentarily, ready to wince when he saw the pain and accusation in them, however she was looking at him calmly, she moved the bottle in her hands and he took it, making sure he didn't touch her.

He opened it and drank half. His hands were shaking he noticed. Twice now he had attacked her, and yet here she was, sat opposite him, she started talking.

"Yesterday when I picked up my mail there was a vial of perfume, one of those trial sized ones, I liked the smell, so I wore it when I got dressed for our…" her voice cracked slightly but she continued "date. After the official interview I got to thinking, you had mentioned the smell, I sent Daniel for the perfume and we tested half of it. All that was detected was certain pheromones, not unusual in perfumes, but these looked slightly odd. However the amount we had did not allow for further testing.

"Daniel asked if you would help and we put you in here, thank you by the way for thinking of moving the table" she said it in a lower voice, as it was personal not a report, he looked at her, thinking how much he loved her and how very brave she was to have tried all this just to save his worthless soul! "I entered the room, and we sat for a while, then I went outside and Carolyn applied the perfume. When I came back in you started to fidget, something you had been careful not to do earlier, when I tried to leave you attacked"

He closed his eyes, he could not remember a single thing about it, no flash of memory, nothing!

"It took both SFs, a taser a Zat and Carolyn injecting you to calm you down" Why the hell didn't they shoot him? It was obvious he was not safe to be around! He should be locked up in Leavenworth and the key thrown away!

"The second experiment we put the perfume on Carolyn, she then sat in here with you, a lot longer than I had, she left without a reaction from you. I believe that someone manufactured that perfume just to get you to attack me"

"Why for Gods sake?!" he burst out. "Why not kill us? Why do it this way?" he scrubbed his hands over his face, but he had noticed her wince when he shouted, so he tried his hardest to calm down, she didn't need this from him.

"Sir, please, we are going to try and find out" he nodded "I am going to ask General Landry to release you"

"NO!" he snapped, she jumped in the chair "Carter you aren't safe while I'm around!"

"You are so long as I don't wear the perfume, we proved that when Carolyn wore it, it was specifically designed to react with my body chemistry to literally send you wild."

"Carter, listen, I AM NOT SAFE! Leave me locked up until you have it sorted"

"If we do that then General Landry will have no choice but to proceed with the court martial, he can't hold a 2 star General locked up!"

"He will be going ahead with it anyway" Jack told her "I raped you, I… They have to go ahead"

"No, sir, they don't. If that was the case I should have been busted when I attacked you after getting the virus from the land of light, we should all have been up on charges when we went to defeat Apophis, never mind the arm bands!" he saw her blush, god, even after all this, she had the capacity to blush. He looked deep inside himself, he really was going to allow her to do whatever she wanted, and after it was all over, he would go up to his cabin and get reacquainted with his gun.

She needed to heal and while ever he was working on the same projects, he knew she wouldn't be able to move on.

She stood and left the room, Hank entered and they talked for a while. Amazingly Hank was willing to allow him to leave, the charges had been dropped, only the people involved would know the truth. He went to the quarters that had been his for so long and locked himself in. He had a shower and then lay on the bed in his shorts thinking of everything.

He was glad she had figured it out, she would feel better about herself for doing it, but it did not stop the fact that HE had RAPED HER! No excuses, he should have been stronger, he should have fought it. He was trained to resist mind control techniques!

Daniel came to the door several hours later, he shouted something about having found more perfume. Jack was even more determined not to leave his quarters, if she came into contact with it, and then Jack bumped into her!

He wouldn't let it happen!

Several hours later she knocked on the door, she had something to tell him. He lay silent, hoping she would leave, but he heard the lock disengage and he scrambled to the far side of the room, forgetting how he was dressed.

She entered and closed the door behind her. He noticed she was wearing a blouse and the light from the hallway made it look see through, he could see every curve she had, as she turned to shut it, the light highlighted her bust and he couldn't help himself, he started to harden.

"Carter leave" he managed to say. She ignored him and walked over and sat on his bed.

"We need to talk, where no one is listening and there are no cameras" she said he looked at her in astonishment what the hell was she doing? Trapping herself in a locked room with the man who had raped her? He started to get angry with her, she was testing his patience, he was only trying to save her from harm! And she was ignoring him! But she was sat on his bed, and she looked so very VERY good sat there!

"Carter I'm ordering you to leave my personal quarters" he said in his harshest voice, he still could not quite meet her eyes though. He wanted her gone, but at the same time he wanted her to stay… hell he didn't know WHAT he wanted!

"No sir" she said quietly… what the hell? She never violated a direct order, not like that!

"Carter! LEAVE!" she shook her head. Her hair bounced slightly as she moved and he felt the overwhelming urge to run his fingers through it.

"We need to talk" she repeated

"Then talk!" he spat, he moved to the small table, and sat at it, it was only when the cold plastic hit his back he realised how he was dressed, he also realised that his arousal was visible. He put his head in his hands and groaned. He was a sick pervert, getting hard for a woman he had violated. If she wanted to beat him up he would let her, but he needed her to stop being kind and nice, he deserved neither.

"You are not to blame for what happened. I don't hold it against you Jack, someone deliberately produced the perfume so that you would attack me"

"You told me all this" he said.

"They sent samples to everyone in my street" she told him " we are tracking them down now," she moved off the bed and stood beside the table, she reached out with her hand to touch him but he jumped up and moved away quickly before she could make contact.

"Don't" he said

"Jack…" he closed his eyes when she said his name… how long had he wanted to hear her say it? And now she was free to do so HE screwed up! She was touching him, she had approached when he had his eyes closed!

"Jack… it's alright, I know it wasn't your fault" God she was brave and wonderful, but he had to get through to her, he had lost her, she just didn't realise it yet. He turned slightly so he was facing her.

"Sam, you don't realise… we… they killed us, the part of us that could have been" she didn't get it, he looked straight into her eyes and all he saw was innocence and love, he moved swiftly and grabbed her arms, she stiffened and let out a small scream. He dropped his hands "See?" he said and he pushed her towards the door.

"Leave now, you need to rest" he told her. She was shaken by her reaction to him, he knew that she thought she forgave him, but the body always overrules the mind unless you know it is coming and can prepare for it.

He opened the door, she turned to say something but he put his fingers on her lips gently, she turned to leave and he sighed, she would heal in time, he knew that, she was strong and would get over what he had done to her… she just needed space and he fully intended to give her it.


	9. Chapter 9

9

She stumbled out of his room, tears streaming down her face as soon as she heard the door shut behind her. She had tried not to flinch when he grabbed her, and she definitely didn't want to scream, but she couldn't help it, her body just betrayed her. She remembered the look in his eyes as she reacted, the pain and self loathing.

She had gone to comfort him and all she had done was bring him more pain. She had spoken with Daniel about him when he went to his room after being released. She did not want to think that she could be responsible for bringing this great man down, but Daniel agreed with her, he thought it was possible that Jack would try something, he told her to make sure that he had no weapon in his quarters, but Sam knew he didn't, they weren't allowed and he did not have time to pre-plan anything, she had to make sure he did not leave the base, if he did she would have to follow him.

Daniel and Carolyn were working on backtracking the perfume, so far they had hit several dummy corporations, and they kept asking for her help when they got stuck.

Eventually the road seemed to end with a multinational that was run by someone they had suspected of being a member of the Trust. She had her answer, now all she had to do was convince him not to give them what they wanted.

She headed back to his quarters, he wasn't there, she contacted the SFs at the ground station and was told he had just left, she rushed to the lifts and followed him out of the base. She did not have her car, so she borrowed a jeep from the motor pool, she sped down the mountain.

He had also kept his house when they had transferred, she headed straight there, hoping she could catch him on the way, when she got there she gasped. Someone had written RAPIST in big red letters over the front of his beautiful house. She called Daniel and told him, there was no sign of the car he had signed out, she went to her own house, no sign.

She worked out that there were only 2 places he would go, she threw some clothes into a bag and headed for the first.

He was not to be seen at the cemetery, she went to Charlie's grave, she had seen him there one day when she visited her dad, and had wandered over to talk to him. There were fresh flowers on the grave and a small space shuttle, that was there before. This time though, there was a catchers mitt, she had seen the mitt in his house several times. When Cassie had asked to play with it once he had gone and bought her one straight away, but he wouldn't allow her to touch it, it was one thing he kept of Charlies and no one could touch it. She had a sinking feeling, if he had gone home and seen the paint, he had then driven to the cemetery and placed the mitt as a final goodbye. She HAD to get to the other place… FAST!

She called Daniel and told him what she thought was happening, he told her to ring General Hammond. She did and was told the address and directions to the place she needed, even though she had travelled there once she had slept almost half the journey.

The General told her to catch a flight and he arranged with Peterson for her to hop in a jet. She was in Minneapolis in 5 hours, 13 quicker than he could get there driving. She grabbed a jeep and headed out, she still had a good 2 hours to go.

She went through the 'local' town, she was 20 miles from where she needed to be and though she knew he could not possibly be there before her she put her foot down.

She was just turning off the highway onto his land when she realised if he saw the jeep he would not enter. She drove a further 5 miles down the road and pulled into a small picnic spot. She grabbed her bag and set off hiking back to the road to the cabin.

She walked up to his door without challenge; she picked the lock and smiled to herself slightly as she did. In town where crime was all around he never locked his door, here where it was almost none existent he did! She entered the building and then opened a window, she exited and locked the huge padlock again and climbed back in. She wanted to see what he intended to do, and hoped she would be quick enough to stop him if she was right, and she could always climb out another window and leave if she was wrong. God she hoped she was wrong, but her gut was telling her that she wasn't.

She lay on his bed, though the sheets were clean she could still detect his scent in the room, for the first time since that night she thought about him properly, not as the man who attacked her, not as the victim in a scheme to destroy them both, but HIM, Jack O'Neill, she still loved him, and though she had flinched and jumped when he grabbed her she still wanted him. She just needed time, and he was determined to steal it away from her.

She must have dozed because the she woke to the sound of an engine. She moved stealthily, into the room she had used the time she came up with the lads, she hoped she had not left any trace of her presence.

He entered the building throwing something onto the floor, she heard him swearing at something and then she opened the door slightly to watch what he was doing. He turned a couple of times while he was writing his letter, she was sure he could feel her eyes on him, but he must have put it down to paranoia. He stood and crossed to the fireplace, he removed a stone from the side of it and reached in. He brought out a rag wrapped around something. She knew exactly what it was.

He sat on the sofa, unwrapped the gun and loaded a single bullet into it. She slipped out the door silently as he raised the gun.

"You need another bullet" she said. He jumped in the air in shock but he was well trained, by the time she finished saying bullet he was facing her and had her targeted "because if you kill yourself over this, I am going to join you" she calmly walked over to him and sat down. She picked the letter up from the table, noticing it was addressed to her.

She opened it, ignoring him totally…

My dearest Samantha 

_When you read this you should start to heal. Know that I always loved you and never would I have hurt you if I had a choice, it has broken both my heart and my soul, what they did to us, and the fact that you have so bravely tried to overcome it makes me so proud._

_You cannot forget what I did to you, though you seem to think you may forgive it, but unlike with Charlie I can neither forgive nor forget what I did. You need freedom to heal, you need space, I offer it to you as my final gift. Remember I love you, always._

_Yours,_

_Jack_

She looked at him, he was still stood exactly where he was when she sat down.

The gun was lose in his grip, she reached over and took it off him, he sank to the sofa, and put his head into his hands, he started crying, heartbroken.

She moved next to him and put her arms around him, he leaned into her crying, unable to stop as she comforted him as if he were a child. Eventually he stopped crying and straightened up, he brought his hand to the side of her face and she leaned into it.

"Sam…" he said and stopped, he swallowed and started again "Sam, I… I am so sorry for what happened, I know nothing I can say will help, but you have to know… I have to tell you"

She leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. He tried to push her away but he was trying not to use his superior strength.

"Shhh" she said, leaning in once more "We are not going to allow those bastards to take away the one thing we have" she kissed his lower lip, and moved to his jaw. She knew she was in no way ready for sex, apart from the fact she still had stitches in, her body needed to learn to trust him again, but for now, she could give him something.

He stood up abruptly she followed, she could see his eyes, he had hope and love and fear all reflected at the same time. She took his hand and placed it on her heart, holding it there.

"Sam" he said again "You aren't ready, you may never be ready to…to…" she nodded

"I know" she said, "but we can sleep together and hold each other until I am" she suddenly realised what she was asking may be too much for him, but he stepped forwards and hugged her tight, his face burying itself in her neck

"God yes! If you are willing to try!" he said, she pushed him off and led him into his room, she turned down the bed and stripped to her underwear, and slipped into bed. He followed suit, and they cuddled together so close it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

They still had to sort the Trust out, they had to be on guard against any other plans aimed at them, but if they could do THIS, they could do anything.

She closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.


End file.
